Abram- Creator of STDs?! Genesis 12-15

So God told Abraham to pack his bags, and let me tell ya, when a a voice from the sky tells you to pack your bags, you’d better listen.
Did the voice come from the sky? Are there voices in his head? How exactly did God communicate with the people he bossed around? Perhaps all those crazy people who talk to themselves are actually talking to God? Who knows? I have always wondered though.
Anyway, Abram, his wife (notice, just one wife!) everything they own, and their nephew Lot all trekked to the new God approved land of Caanan, where there were already people living. God told him to build an alter because this time God actually manifested and told him the very spot. Yeah, I’d probably do it too. But that was not the end of the journey, oh no, he had to keep going and he built another alter in Bethel and moseyed to Negev.
In Negev, there was major famine, so instead of going there, Abram decided to take his family to Egypt instead. His wife, Sarai, was very beautiful, and in fearing for his own safety, asked her to say that she was his sister. He feared that if it was known that she was his wife, that he would be killed and she would be wed off somewhere else. However, if she pretended to be his sister, he would be given dowries and treated well to gain favor. So, essentially, Abram whored out his own wife.
Now, God knew what happened, and rather than punish the person who perpetrated the scheme, punished the victem. Rather than punish Abram for being a pimp, he punished the Pharaoh, who was clueless, and blameless. How was he supposed to know that was Abrams wife? He had just married her! What did poor Sarai thing, being told by her husband, the man who is supposed to love her and protect her, that she must pretend wed another man so that he can be given wealth? Correct me if I am wrong, but Abram is the world’s first pimp. Classy guy. Probably all decked out in furs, a big hat and a pimp cane.
But God punished the Pharaoh, because thats what God is, totally fair. Here is a question for Prophet: if God is so loving, why is he punishing the innocent? Pharaoh didn’t know he was lied to, why not punish the liar? He figured it out in the end, gave Sarai back to Abram and banished them not that I blame him. I mean, seriously! He was an unwilling John, and had been inflicted with diseases. WAIT!!! Is this the first mention of STDs? Abram created STDs by whoring out his wife!!! Holy cow!!! Epiphany!
So banished from Egypt they went back, now both he and Lot are loaded down with many heads of livestock and riches. They didn’t stop at Negev, but kept kept going, and realized after accumulating more weath, that the areas they were staying could not support all their livestock and hearders. So they decided to split up, Lot went towards Sodom, and Abram towards the land of Canaan. Lot got to watch all the sinning in Sodom, and Abram built an alter.

In Sodom, there was a Great War, which they lost, and lost all their food and then went away, but not before chasing all the men into the woods. What became of the women, I can only guess. I don’t want to guess. They also claimed Lot as a spoil of war. He was from Sodom, so…
Now it was up to Abram to go rescue his nephew. They waged a battle and won, taking back all of the women, and possessions, and of course, Lot. The high priest, Melchizedek, Mel for short, blessed Abram. But here’s a question, if Abram is in constant contact with God, why does he care that a priest blessed him? God himself is going that for Abram. Doesn’t it seem like a busboy complimenting a master chef? Abram was pleased with the self flattering, and gave him a tenth all the spoils. When the King of Sodom offered to give him all the spoils of the battle, Abram refused saying that God told him not to take it because it would mean that Sodom helped him to get rich. He asked for the men to be paid their fair share, but the rest he left to the Kingdom.
When he got hime, Abram decided it was very important to have a little discussion with God. He asked him if he was childless why did it matter if he had all this land for his children and their offspring. Abram believed.
He then asked how he knew that it was his land if there are other people claiming it, to which God requested a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old. Not only that but a dove and a pigeon. He cut in half the livestock, and left the birds whole. Then some raptors came down to dine, but Abram shooed them away until he fell asleep. In his dreams, God came to him and promised him wealth for four hundred years of of his children being enslaved in a place they are strangers. Not to worry though because God will punish the nations which enslaved people. So, God will enslave his people for four hundred years, because things are about to get a whole lot worse where they are. But why did God even send them there is it was so bad?He is supposed to suffer his whole life, and so are his children so generations in the future can be wealthy. That is when God made yet another covenant with Abram: I am giving all the land from the Wadi to the Euphrates to you and your children.
But didn’t he just say that he had to suffer for 400 years first? He would never live to see it be wonderful? Maybe I don’t get this last chapter. Someone fill me in.

I don’t think it says anywhere in the bible that God is fair. There is suffering all over the world because of the sinning of others. In this example, Abram’s lack of faith damages God’s reputation among the pagans, and threatens God’s plan of our savior being born through Abram and Sarai’s descendants. God’s actions in the situation allowed the pharaoh to see Abram would have to own up to his lie. It displayed His power before the pagans. It saved Sarai from pharaoh which saves His ultimate plan of delivering us our Savior through their descendants.

Remember this is the old testament lol. So many of God’s actions seem so harsh and drastic. They all have a greater purpose behind them though, and are all backed with absolute LOVE overall for us who were created in His image, placed above even the angels in heaven. From the beginning He knew we would need a savior. The old testament is one giant build up to the real, ultimate purpose, and that is Christ. Everything God did was to uphold his plan of getting us our savior so that we may be co-heirs with Christ in Heaven forever and ever amen.

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