So, as it turns out, as good as precious Noah was, he was also kinda a dick. Smite me Lord, as I know that he was one of the ones you liked best. But seriously, in the Chapter “Sons of Noah,” Noah was a dick.
Noah had three sons. Shem, Ham,and Japheth. These three men were the forefathers of all the men on the planet. Remember how God had told Noah and his family that he was the master of all the plants and animals? Well, apparently he was also blessed with the recipe for alcohol, more specifically: wine.
One night, Noah, shall we say, overindulged a bit and passed out naked in his tent. Poor, unlucky Ham happened upon him in all his uncovered glory, and quickly ran and asked his brothers for advice in how to deal with the situation. His brothers were careful to not look upon their father’s naked body, which by the way, as we stated earlier, was a man made sin and did not really concern God in anyway; nudity is no big deal to Him. The brothers laid a covering over his body, and left him to sleep it off. They never saw his dangly bits.
When Noah awoke, had he been wearing panties which we know he wasn’t, they would have been seriously twisted. We are talking way up there twisted, because Noah was PISSED. Not at himself for being hammered and passing out, but at poor Ham because he had seen him naked. Noah cursed not only Ham, but bacon and pork chops as well. Not only that, but he cursed all of Ham’s children, their children’s children and so on. He also praised the two brothers who covered him up and made Ham and his lineage be the slaves of his brothers sons’.
Thus begins mankind’s unfortunate habit of blaming others and punishing others for their own mistakes.
All of Japheth’s line were called the Japhethites, all of Ham’s were the Hamites, and Shem had him some Semites. Lots of children were had by all and all of Ham’s were the slaves of the the other brothers. All because Ham glanced upon his dad’s naked, passed out butt. I seriously think Ham got the raw deal here. Can you tell?
On another note:
The whole world spoke the same language at this time, and with this language devised how to make bricks and mortar. Then they decided it would be smart to build a tower so tall with brick and mortar and language skills that it could reach heaven. God didn’t think this was a wise use of their time, so hocus pocus made people speak different languages. The effect of this was to make communication difficult and put up barriers between people so they would not be able to do anything. Thats why they called the tower “The Tower of Babel” because The Lord turned humans into babbling idiots.
Don’t forget that everyone at this point is a full grown adult. Noah’s three sons are all grown men, not innocent children. If anything this short story of Noah is very important. It displays that even Noah, the most righteous and blameless man of the time wasn’t perfect at all. He could get drunk, depressed, angry, and curse his own family. We all have our downfalls.
I like that. I have noticed, so far, that a lot of the problems that have been created we humans created on our own. We brought it on oursevles. I think Pragmatist might take issue with that, but the notion rings true. Taking God and religion out of issues of the world, all the problems are created by man. We did it!
Noah awaking from his drunken shameful state only to find out his son Ham went and told his two brothers about him, understandably is angry at Ham. Ham dishonored Noah by going and telling of shame to his brothers. So Noah in his drunken state, prophesies that Ham’s son, Canaan, would be cursed because Ham is his father. A story of a son doomed to repeat his fathers mistakes? Then Noah prophesies blessings for his other two sons who acted in a way of protection towards their father.
Also, a fun side note about the Tower of Babel and the bible in general… Heaven isn’t always meant as the kingdom of Heaven. In original Hebrew, heavens translates to elevations. You will see many times in the Bible, people speaking of the heavens, or the 3rd heaven, or etc. In the tower of babel for example they say they want to build a tower that reaches to the heavens. Here they are only meaning a tower that reaches into the sky or above the sky. There were 3 levels of heaven for the Hebrews. The first level is the sky where the birds fly. The second is above the sky, with the stars. And the third is the actual kingdom of heaven above all.
Very interesting. So rather than meaning the heaven, it means the sky. Touching the sky… I wonder if it matters that we have reached beyond the sky, to the actual heavens.