Genesis Ch. 1

Genesis Chapter 1:
Ok, so In the begining, God created Space, and in it, the Earth. Thats all. He just got this wild hair up the Divine Rear End and thought: You know what would go great here? EVERYTHING. So he made it. Right there. But that wasn’t quite good enough for God, no, he wanted to see what he had created. So he turned on the light, which he liked so much that he separated it from darkness. To me, light and dark is kinda like Bruce Wayne and Batman. You never see them in the same place. Darkness is the absence of light. How can he separate them? Maybe its one of those he thought it so it became kinda things. I’m not trying to be a smartass, This is one of those ideas that seems to be very simple, therefore incredibly complex. Then he named them: Night and Day. Whew! What a day! Better call it a night. The second day, he began by separating water from water. Which sounds pretty lame, but what they actually mean is that he created the sky. What this kinda means is that above the stratosphere is another ocean? I wonder if that is a guess because the sky is blue and therefore must be water? Anyway, that was day two. Day two doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, because he already made space, and doesn’t that mean the sky? Hey, who are we to question God’s art? Art doesn’t always make sense, now does it?

The third day, is another day of making the basics: the sea and land. Both were empty. It kinda makes me wonder if perhaps Mars might have been a rough draft? It seems like for the first three days the earth looked a lot like contemporary Mars with more water. But we don’t know if Mars has a bunch of water under its surface. I don’t think we will even know in our lifetime. I digressed into a tangent. My bad for thinking.


I think the third day is where the world starts getting interesting. Finally a little life is breathed onto the planet. I don’t mean lliterally, because it doesn’t really say. Well, kinda, it says he just said “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it.” So the fourth day he created all the plants, and yes to my pot smoking friends, I’m sure that does include marijuana. It isn’t mentioned directly, but i’d say its pretty definite. Anyway, he looked around the world and thought, “not bad” and called it a night again.
The fourth day is where he created the stars, the sun, the moon, and all the Celestial Seasonings you could ask for. He also created time, kinda, because there was already days, but still he created what I can only imagine is human days and years. He also vanquished the sun and the moon to their own corners, though we know that naughty moon sometime likes to check up on the naughty sun. I guess the moon is a little more forgivable. Or perhaps the moon is the sun’s annoying little brother who won’t stay out of the sun’s room. That may be closer to the truth because the sun’s daily chore, so given by god is “to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness.”
Now it seems that God already did this on the first day. So, was he getting tired from having to do it everyday, so he decided to install a timer like we have on our water heater? It makes sense. I mean if you had to make light every single day, and then erase it every single night, I could see how that would get tedious. Lets just hope this isn’t God’s Christmas lights and he doesn’t unplug our light until next season.
Oh yeah, he looked at his creation, patted himself on the back, and made sure the sun timer was accurately set and went to bed.
The fifth day, the animals came. Up until now, all we had were plants. First he turned to the sea and filled it up with all sorts of crazy fish. We know because we have fossilized records of it. He also made some birds. He asked of the birds and the fish to multiply. Thats all. Though, I could kinda see why thats all he did. The fish part, he has to let the plastic baggies float with the fish in them, then slowly release the fish into the ocean. That takes a lot of time. Also, if you have ever had chickens, you know what a cacophonous mess releasing a bunch of birds can make! Birds can fight over territory and I don’t even want to get started on the roosters. God is waking up early from now on since he created those roosters! (I am guessing the chicken came before the egg if the Bible is to be taken as truth)
The sixth day, god was getting kinda tired, but knows he wasn’t quite finished yet. After all, God has been working from dawn to dusk every single day for 5 days straight. He was getting tired! BUT, he also wasn’t finished, and being the overachiever that he is, put in even more over time. The sixth day, he created livestock and all the land bound creatures. This part is rather repetitive, but basically, god made land animals, twice in one paragraph. He must have really liked animals.
So after admiring his shiny new menagerie he figured something was missing. So, he created a man and a woman, which he fashioned to look similar to himself. He asked them to rule over the whole world, and to help themselves to the bounty that the world provided. He told them to eat any of the green plants for food. Then, pleased with what he had accomplished, he finally went to the heavenly couch, and turned on the tv to rest for a day.

So this is my interpretation of the the first chapter in Genesis. I had to ask quite a few questions to get to this understanding. For one: Who is us? At 1:26 he says “Let us make mankind in our likeness.” Who is us? Is God having a multiple personality moment? Does god have a better half? What is going on here? Well, the general consensus from around me is that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are chilling with God, and that they are all one. So, yeah, God WAS having a multiple personality moment, because he is made up of three things. (Things? Beings? People? Gods? Flying Spaghetti Monsters?)
Now the scientist in me thinks six days is way too short for a universe to be created. Now, Lets say this god is eternal, as so many insist, then think back to your childhood. It happened SO FAST. I swear it seems like yesterday that I was still in college running around being a kid. And barely before that, I was in high school, I can’t even remember my infancy, it is like it really didn’t happen, yet, I had the cutest pictures of me as a child, and too many people remember me at that age, even if I cant. It had to have happened. So, If this god really is eternal, he may have done all of that, but his timing is a little off. What for him might be a day, could logically be the equivalent for our eons. If you think of it in scientific terms, without the oversimplification, the earth really did emerge pretty much exactly like the bible says. The Big Bang and Creationism happened quite parallel. It is logical it happened in just the order the Bible says it did. It even has the proverbial orcas into wolves mentioned on PBS. It just doesn’t say it in such a long winded ludicrous way.

The creation of the earth in both scientific and biblical terms is feasible. If we take into the account that a day in God’s eyes would be different prehistoric eras, it actually makes sense and can be backed up with science. Sorry fellow atheists/agnostics/ignostics nothing debunked so far. As for the “God” part, while I cannot conclude that he absolutely does exist, I cannot definitively conclude otherwise either.


Sorry Perplexed, I have nothing to add to this. You pretty much covered it, and answered your own questions. Good job.

Ok, ok, I will add something I guess. Being a scientific mind myself, I love to try and fit what we know of the universe, into the bibles lineage and time frame as well. Now, obviously the universe isn’t 6,000 years old. Though the age of man going back to Adam and Eve may be. That is what the bible tells us. I don’t count out evolution. I just don’t believe man came from ape is all. When you change the “days” of God creating everything into a different word like “parts” or “phases” it makes it easier to understand because then it throws out the whole concept of time. Then we can easily fit the billions of years missing from the bible into that area of creation, which as Perplexed said, makes science and the bible both say that everything came about in the same order (minus man evolving from ape).

Prophet, I know you don’t know me, but you really have to explain how it could be that evolution works on everything but humans.  Don’t play dumb here.  There are a lot of creationist forums where that may fly, but that’s not where we are, and not where I want to be.  

Really, I feel like there’s a lot of excuse-making going on here, P-pals.  Genesis just sounds like a bunch of made-up junk to me.  Seems like our author is just like, “Hey, see that over there? God made that on one of these days.”  And Perplexed, your assertion that nothing was debunked kind of makes me wonder what was “bunked” to begin with.  Obviously, no one here is going with a literal understanding of Genesis.  It’s so thin on actual assertions, that would be pretty hard to do.  

Though, I do like Perplexed’s question about who “us” is.  I think it’s useful to think about this stuff in the context of emerging civilization and a bunch of religions getting on their feet.  Shit was wild.  The Old Testament God seems like he was not the only God on the block.  But maybe this comes down to a translation problem, or artistic license on the part of the author.  And anyway, who is the author of Genesis?  Wikipedia eventually gets to saying that people generally accept it was Moses.  Was Moses there hanging out with God at Creation?  That could explain the “us.” but it creates a lot of other questions, too.  With a lot of these discrepancies I think about a bit from The Simpsons:  

Homer: Bart, I’m not asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You may not realize it now, but when you save a rich guy’s life, he showers you with riches. Don’t you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?

Bart: Is it a Bible story?

Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough, so they got Hercules and he used his mighty strength, and bingo. Anyway, the moral is, is that the lion was so happy, that he gave Hercules this big… thing… of riches.

Bart: How did a lion get rich?

Homer: It was the olden days.

Bart: Oh.

Good point, Bart.  How did that lion get rich?  Well, it was the olden days, when stories didn’t have to make sense.  Without reading between the lines, how does Genesis do much better than hiding behind “It was the olden days?”  

You’ll have to forgive me if I am vague in a lot of my reasoning and explanations of the bible. Some parts of the bible, like Genesis, are incredibly vague. I can only express my opinion on it as far as my extremely limited knowledge allows me.

As far as evolution goes, I only know as much as text books in school teach. And that would generally be a bunch of drawings of animals and fossils evolving over millions of years. Yes there is actual fossil evidence of micro evolution of many species. But for macro evolution, im not so sure? I’ve yet to see an actual ape to man skeletal/fossil record. If you have links to actual legit articles with pictures of those discoveries, please share. Also, evolution is still just a theory. A dang good theory, that’s why I don’t like to say I don’t believe in it. There just seems to be a lot of missing pieces to the puzzle.

Also In my opinion I think It is legitimate to believe animals evolved with the exclusion of mankind. Genesis says animals were made first, and I’m sure were roaming the earth for millions of years till God decided to make man. Remember I believe every word of the bible as fact. If God said he made man… and I believe in God… then who am I to question God? Plus I don’t think man doesn’t fall out of the evolution category. I’ve heard that people are being born without wisdom teeth these days because they are useless. Seems like micro evolution in process to me.

Us would be the Trinity. I’ll note on Moses writing Genesis too… No Moses wasn’t with God in the beginning, but you’ll learn in Exodus that God was with Moses…. a LOT, more then anyone else in the bible. Like LITERALLY with Moses. Not in visions and not in spirit, like pretty much every other bible figure. Makes sense to me that God would have told Moses how the earth was created in a veeeeeeery dumbed down way for them to understand at that time. In todays terms, because of the progress of science, we have an incredibly advanced understanding of how pretty much everything was made.

I don’t know if the things I’m saying make sense to anyone else, but it sure makes a heck of a lot of sense to me. And it’s simple, just like you said you prefer Pragmatist.

This micro vs. macro evolution thing is pretty darn tired, Prophet.  It’s a distinction without a difference.  It doesn’t explain anything.  Evolution is not a theory, it’s the process of natural selection.  But we’re on a tangent here.  I’m prepared to take this into the comments if you want some further discussion, but some of the hand-waving shibboleths have come out and that fake wisdom teeth concession didn’t fool me.  Next it’ll be irreducible complexity and bombardier beetles and broken watches.  There’s no leap of faith with evolution.  That’s why I love biology.  Things just work.  

Hi guys! Wow! This is some really epic diablogging here! (Get it? Epic?) I think, if I may, that a lot of either religion or scientific belief is based on faith. Faith in God, which my dear friend Prophet has, or faith in science, which Pragmatist has in spades. Faith is such a powerful motivator that people are willing to die for what they have faith in. As a young child, I lost a lot of my faith in the world. I could see the pain, and torment and had a hard time reconciling who was lucky enough to have been born with this family or that family. I could also see that some other countries were even farther from what I considered God to be. Why did some children get brainwashed to be child soldiers? Why are those children starving to death? What could they have done in such a short time to have offended God and been dealt such a crappy hand. It is still one of the notions which holds me back. I have had some sucky times in my childhood, but my life is infinitely better than those in parts of Africa, the Middle East, China, and other places where the world just sucks for people. Do they believe in God any less?

As for things just working in Biology, just playing a little devils advocate here, couldn’t it be perfect because God, a perfect being, made it so? Just thoughts…

Also, Prag don’t switch to comments! Thats part of this Blog! The open discussion! Lets all hear it! I am so loving this!


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