Abram- Creator of STDs?! Genesis 12-15

So God told Abraham to pack his bags, and let me tell ya, when a a voice from the sky tells you to pack your bags, you’d better listen.
Did the voice come from the sky? Are there voices in his head? How exactly did God communicate with the people he bossed around? Perhaps all those crazy people who talk to themselves are actually talking to God? Who knows? I have always wondered though.
Anyway, Abram, his wife (notice, just one wife!) everything they own, and their nephew Lot all trekked to the new God approved land of Caanan, where there were already people living. God told him to build an alter because this time God actually manifested and told him the very spot. Yeah, I’d probably do it too. But that was not the end of the journey, oh no, he had to keep going and he built another alter in Bethel and moseyed to Negev.
In Negev, there was major famine, so instead of going there, Abram decided to take his family to Egypt instead. His wife, Sarai, was very beautiful, and in fearing for his own safety, asked her to say that she was his sister. He feared that if it was known that she was his wife, that he would be killed and she would be wed off somewhere else. However, if she pretended to be his sister, he would be given dowries and treated well to gain favor. So, essentially, Abram whored out his own wife.
Now, God knew what happened, and rather than punish the person who perpetrated the scheme, punished the victem. Rather than punish Abram for being a pimp, he punished the Pharaoh, who was clueless, and blameless. How was he supposed to know that was Abrams wife? He had just married her! What did poor Sarai thing, being told by her husband, the man who is supposed to love her and protect her, that she must pretend wed another man so that he can be given wealth? Correct me if I am wrong, but Abram is the world’s first pimp. Classy guy. Probably all decked out in furs, a big hat and a pimp cane.
But God punished the Pharaoh, because thats what God is, totally fair. Here is a question for Prophet: if God is so loving, why is he punishing the innocent? Pharaoh didn’t know he was lied to, why not punish the liar? He figured it out in the end, gave Sarai back to Abram and banished them not that I blame him. I mean, seriously! He was an unwilling John, and had been inflicted with diseases. WAIT!!! Is this the first mention of STDs? Abram created STDs by whoring out his wife!!! Holy cow!!! Epiphany!
So banished from Egypt they went back, now both he and Lot are loaded down with many heads of livestock and riches. They didn’t stop at Negev, but kept kept going, and realized after accumulating more weath, that the areas they were staying could not support all their livestock and hearders. So they decided to split up, Lot went towards Sodom, and Abram towards the land of Canaan. Lot got to watch all the sinning in Sodom, and Abram built an alter.

In Sodom, there was a Great War, which they lost, and lost all their food and then went away, but not before chasing all the men into the woods. What became of the women, I can only guess. I don’t want to guess. They also claimed Lot as a spoil of war. He was from Sodom, so…
Now it was up to Abram to go rescue his nephew. They waged a battle and won, taking back all of the women, and possessions, and of course, Lot. The high priest, Melchizedek, Mel for short, blessed Abram. But here’s a question, if Abram is in constant contact with God, why does he care that a priest blessed him? God himself is going that for Abram. Doesn’t it seem like a busboy complimenting a master chef? Abram was pleased with the self flattering, and gave him a tenth all the spoils. When the King of Sodom offered to give him all the spoils of the battle, Abram refused saying that God told him not to take it because it would mean that Sodom helped him to get rich. He asked for the men to be paid their fair share, but the rest he left to the Kingdom.
When he got hime, Abram decided it was very important to have a little discussion with God. He asked him if he was childless why did it matter if he had all this land for his children and their offspring. Abram believed.
He then asked how he knew that it was his land if there are other people claiming it, to which God requested a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old. Not only that but a dove and a pigeon. He cut in half the livestock, and left the birds whole. Then some raptors came down to dine, but Abram shooed them away until he fell asleep. In his dreams, God came to him and promised him wealth for four hundred years of of his children being enslaved in a place they are strangers. Not to worry though because God will punish the nations which enslaved people. So, God will enslave his people for four hundred years, because things are about to get a whole lot worse where they are. But why did God even send them there is it was so bad?He is supposed to suffer his whole life, and so are his children so generations in the future can be wealthy. That is when God made yet another covenant with Abram: I am giving all the land from the Wadi to the Euphrates to you and your children.
But didn’t he just say that he had to suffer for 400 years first? He would never live to see it be wonderful? Maybe I don’t get this last chapter. Someone fill me in.

I don’t think it says anywhere in the bible that God is fair. There is suffering all over the world because of the sinning of others. In this example, Abram’s lack of faith damages God’s reputation among the pagans, and threatens God’s plan of our savior being born through Abram and Sarai’s descendants. God’s actions in the situation allowed the pharaoh to see Abram would have to own up to his lie. It displayed His power before the pagans. It saved Sarai from pharaoh which saves His ultimate plan of delivering us our Savior through their descendants.

Remember this is the old testament lol. So many of God’s actions seem so harsh and drastic. They all have a greater purpose behind them though, and are all backed with absolute LOVE overall for us who were created in His image, placed above even the angels in heaven. From the beginning He knew we would need a savior. The old testament is one giant build up to the real, ultimate purpose, and that is Christ. Everything God did was to uphold his plan of getting us our savior so that we may be co-heirs with Christ in Heaven forever and ever amen.

Coming at you now, with your blah blah blah…

After the Tower of Babel, which seems to be injected only to show how different languages came about, it is just a series of family trees. I think that back in the day, much like a lot of cultures which are still around, use their ancestry as a type of resume. Its interesting, really, because the good deeds of your ancestors don’t necessarily mean that you are going to be good yourself. Think about this, a great majority of todays youths are having a hard time making ends meet, and still in their thirties are living at home or with family members. There was even an article that I read that stated flat out, that todays working force are not able to work, even though they very much want to. These are people with college degrees, and heavy debt strapped to their backs, and yet, there is no work. I am sad to admit it, but I am including myself in this group. I have a year of teaching under my belt. I moved away to be closer to family. I applied for all three jobs currently being offered in my field. I had the perfect resume, the addressed cover letter, the essay that the job requested to even apply for the job, everything. Over 100 people applied for the job. Only 20 got interviewed. I didn’t even get a thank you letter.
So when the Bible lists and lists all the lines of generation, it meant something to the time. It also shows the progression of time. I think this is an excellent way to point out the differences between then and now. Nobody cared that my father is Plumber, or that his father was Polyamourous. These things don’t matter in this day and age. Well, unless somebody needs a Plumber, then I get a friendly phone call. Times have changed, and I think people need to understand the cultural differences in the Bible. We have one wife now, not seven. That is a difference. We don’t put too much value in our ancestory. We don’t have goats in our backyards. We live in cities, have technology and greater means of travel.
I often see people protesting the ways of others on streets. Far removed from creating awareness, they cultivate hate and intolerance. all in the name of the Bible, God, and Jesus. But if they had read this book, for real, not just blurbs and bits, but the whole book, I think that they will see that the God in this book is all about the love of man. So far, there is no hate. Even when he wiped out all but Noah and his family, he did it with a heavy heart. Even after, he was ashamed and promised never to do it again. He felt bad for punishing the human race.
Now here is the thing, as an outlyer, I see all the atrocities carried out in his name. The excuse is it is what God wants. Except he promised. He promised to not kill off a certain group of people. He promised. That does not give man the right to carry out atrocities in his name. If man does that, they are putting themselves in God’s shoes, deifying themselves as gods. They are asserting themselves above the word of God. Putting words in God’s mouth. But this is not, nor has ever been God, the notion of God, or even the Bible’s teaching. God is above the laws of man. But man is not.
I feel as though I may have gotten a bit off topic.
Continuing on, I see that many of the persons in the Bible married their first cousins. We all know what happens when we marry our close relatives, and indeed, right here in the Bible it talks about a woman who is unable to conceive children. But it is in the Bible, so it must be ok. I suppose that is where I was going with the above writings. A lot of this is a account of liniage. This was important to man, not God, he knew is children. This is what man finds important. While the Bible has good lessons, and may be a testament of history, I think it important to remember that it was a human hand who wrote the words. Humans have opinions and beliefs which can be inserted around God’s message.

Weird blog, I know, and not inline with the rest, but seeing as the Hobby Lobby verdict came out, I find it both socially and DIAblog relevant.

I find it pretty incredible that you are finding God’s love in the old testament. Most people read the old testament blindly and only see how harsh and violent God is. They don’t look deeper into the reasons for his actions, which are all based on love, because God IS love. So I’m very happy to see that you are understanding this.

There is a facebook page someone made where they pose as God. It’s named God, and they have a silly picture of God, and it’s basically a mockery. It’s pretty dang disrespectful, but I’ve seen some of the things posted there and I can’t help but laugh. Curse my sense of humor! Anyways, the page is filled with comments, half of which are other athiests having fun mocking God, and the other half are believers, hate filled believers. They go on this guys page with this intense hate telling the guy he’s going to hell, cursing him, and threatening him. It’s sad how misguided so many faithful believers are, and how easily we let our raging emotions cloud Gods love and because of our actions, turn people further and further from Him.

I have seen the page you are referring too. Yes, he may be an atheist, but I think it worth noting that the page in question never outright mocks God. He mocks certain believers. Yes, I agree his methodology may be a little crude, but many times I feel he kinda had a point. It is the people who preached God’s hate that false god was protesting. False god’s ultimate point was if you are preaching hate, then you don’t know God. Have you also noted that he calls out people who claim to be believers and follow the Bible and Jesus’s teachings, but come at him with hate? He says that this type of behavior is not what is preached in the Bible and is a direct contrast to what is preached? I love that about his page.

Genesis: 9:18- The Tower of Babel

So, as it turns out, as good as precious Noah was, he was also kinda a dick. Smite me Lord, as I know that he was one of the ones you liked best. But seriously, in the Chapter “Sons of Noah,” Noah was a dick.
Noah had three sons. Shem, Ham,and Japheth. These three men were the forefathers of all the men on the planet. Remember how God had told Noah and his family that he was the master of all the plants and animals? Well, apparently he was also blessed with the recipe for alcohol, more specifically: wine.
One night, Noah, shall we say, overindulged a bit and passed out naked in his tent. Poor, unlucky Ham happened upon him in all his uncovered glory, and quickly ran and asked his brothers for advice in how to deal with the situation. His brothers were careful to not look upon their father’s naked body, which by the way, as we stated earlier, was a man made sin and did not really concern God in anyway; nudity is no big deal to Him. The brothers laid a covering over his body, and left him to sleep it off. They never saw his dangly bits.
When Noah awoke, had he been wearing panties which we know he wasn’t, they would have been seriously twisted. We are talking way up there twisted, because Noah was PISSED. Not at himself for being hammered and passing out, but at poor Ham because he had seen him naked. Noah cursed not only Ham, but bacon and pork chops as well. Not only that, but he cursed all of Ham’s children, their children’s children and so on. He also praised the two brothers who covered him up and made Ham and his lineage be the slaves of his brothers sons’.
Thus begins mankind’s unfortunate habit of blaming others and punishing others for their own mistakes.
All of Japheth’s line were called the Japhethites, all of Ham’s were the Hamites, and Shem had him some Semites. Lots of children were had by all and all of Ham’s were the slaves of the the other brothers. All because Ham glanced upon his dad’s naked, passed out butt. I seriously think Ham got the raw deal here. Can you tell?

On another note:
The whole world spoke the same language at this time, and with this language devised how to make bricks and mortar. Then they decided it would be smart to build a tower so tall with brick and mortar and language skills that it could reach heaven. God didn’t think this was a wise use of their time, so hocus pocus made people speak different languages. The effect of this was to make communication difficult and put up barriers between people so they would not be able to do anything. Thats why they called the tower “The Tower of Babel” because The Lord turned humans into babbling idiots.

Don’t forget that everyone at this point is a full grown adult. Noah’s three sons are all grown men, not innocent children. If anything this short story of Noah is very important. It displays that even Noah, the most righteous and blameless man of the time wasn’t perfect at all. He could get drunk, depressed, angry, and curse his own family. We all have our downfalls.

I like that. I have noticed, so far, that a lot of the problems that have been created we humans created on our own. We brought it on oursevles. I think Pragmatist might take issue with that, but the notion rings true. Taking God and religion out of issues of the world, all the problems are created by man. We did it!

Noah awaking from his drunken shameful state only to find out his son Ham went and told his two brothers about him, understandably is angry at Ham. Ham dishonored Noah by going and telling of shame to his brothers. So Noah in his drunken state, prophesies that Ham’s son, Canaan, would be cursed because Ham is his father. A story of a son doomed to repeat his fathers mistakes? Then Noah prophesies blessings for his other two sons who acted in a way of protection towards their father. 

Also, a fun side note about the Tower of Babel and the bible in general… Heaven isn’t always meant as the kingdom of Heaven. In original Hebrew, heavens translates to elevations. You will see many times in the Bible, people speaking of the heavens, or the 3rd heaven, or etc. In the tower of babel for example they say they want to build a tower that reaches to the heavens. Here they are only meaning a tower that reaches into the sky or above the sky. There were 3 levels of heaven for the Hebrews. The first level is the sky where the birds fly. The second is above the sky, with the stars. And the third is the actual kingdom of heaven above all.

Very interesting. So rather than meaning the heaven, it means the sky. Touching the sky… I wonder if it matters that we have reached beyond the sky, to the actual heavens.

Ch. 7-9: This Flood is Coming, I Swear

So God told Noah, the righteous, to get on the ark, but here is where it gets a little wonky. At first God is all: a male and female of all the animals, but then he talks about getting 7 pairs of every animal? Is it 2 by 2 or 7 by 7? Not only that, but God is making a distinction between clean and unclean animals. How does one know if an animal is clean or unclean?
So, they are on this big ol’ boat, all the animals are onboard, (I decided to get to the good part. Moving this along a little. I kinda want to get to the new testament sometime in the relatively near future) and then God Himself shut the door to the ark to make sure the last creatures on earth are safe from his wrath.
Float. Float. Float… Rain for 40 days and 40 nights… I certainly hope there was a little divine Dramamine.
Then the water receded after 150 days. So it doesn’t quite happen like the cartoons used to say, it actually takes time for the earth to reclaim that much water. Also, Noah and those on the ark are the only ones that remain on the planet. God remembers Noah and his entourage, and turns off the divine spigot. Noah opens a window, and lets a raven fly,but it kept coming back because there was no place to go. Not believing the lying black bird he sends out a dove. The dove concurred with the raven’s assessment and came back. After another week, he sent out the dove again. This time, a fresh olive branch came back with the dove (because we all know fully grown olive trees burst forth in a week). A week after that, he let the dove out and it didn’t come back. It was probably pretty sick of being stuck on a big boat with lots of other creatures, and cats of all sizes.
Finally, after a year, the ship lands on the earth again and upon God’s permission everyone gets out. Since God has just wiped out everything, He makes a covenant, or promise to Noah. God tells Noah that he will never again make a planet wide flood and wipe out all of existance. God also grants all the animals to be food for humans, though we cannot eat of animals which are still living. So you gotta kill your food before you eat it. I’m a little worried about this one, because I have eaten live bugs on accident. Do those count? This is marginally worrisome. God also says there is an accounting of blood, and don’t kill humans. Human blood matters, nothing else. So if a shark kills a human, humans now have the right to go out and kill the shark that killed the human.
To prove that he wouldn’t ever kill everything again, he gave us a rainbow. I like rainbows. I don’t like genocide. I think this was a win win in my book.

Continue reading

Chapter 6 Part Deux: Big freaking flood!!! (Noah and the Flood)

So, this guy Noah is all perfect, and nobody can compare. You know he got in there with some serious kissing of the most holiest of asses. The rest of the world, as I said earlier, pretty much sucked. Noah had three sons, who had potential: Shem, Ham (should have been named Bacon) and Japheth. Ham? Seriously? He’s a JEW! Jews don’t eat ham, or pork chops or even bacon! Ham? Mixed messages here Moses…

Anyhow, The rest of the earth, pretty much sucked. God had written them out of the family like that second cousin that steals the family’s inheritance and used it for drug and hooker money. If you don’t have one of those in your family, SURPRISE!!! It might be you! God noticed all the suckacity and decided: “Fuck’m.”

But not Noah. Perfect, perfect Noah. No, God thought that Noah should not be punished as others are punished, and swoops down from his clouds and warns him of how much the world sucks. Since Noah lived on earth, I am pretty sure he noticed, and since he is the ultimate sycophant, agrees with God. Keep in mind, his own sisters and brothers are out there. His parents and grandparents, since everyone is hundreds of years old. But then again, maybe they were really awful.

Now I’m not saying that sucking up to God is bad. Quite the contrary. If ever there was an ass to kiss, it is the heiney of the guy who can send a flood to the earth and wipe out everyone on the planet, which is exactly what God tells Noah he is about to do. He tells Noah that he has been a good little worshipper and he has chosen him to continue the line of humans in this world, but Noah has to help himself. This is a really good lesson for mankind, and for sure, my high school students, to learn. I can give them everything they need to be successful, but they have to take everything I give! They have to want to survive in the world and work for it. Sad to say, my kids haven’t quite figured it out yet.

God gives Noah clear and explicit instructions for building a HUGE boat. Ark, as he likes to call it… He recites him plans and tells him where to put doors. He tells him that he is to load up the ark with two of all living creatures, both male and female, and he can take all three of his sons and their wives. Noah also needed to pack food for everyone to eat. Millions of animals, Noah and his family. Whatever a cubit is, I hope its bigger than a breadbox!

All I have to add is that Noah wasn’t perfect. No one was ever perfect except for Jesus. Noah was just the only faithful and righteous man alive that God found worthy. I’m sure you know that though and are just being the sarcastic brat that you are haha. I just don’t want anyone reading that doesn’t know the story to get the wrong idea. Noah wasn’t perfect. Just a faithful and righteous man in God’s eyes.

I am not so with God on all this.  We don’t have commandments yet, right?  I’d compare the wickedness to people who get accused of “cheating” before the boundaries of a relationship are explicitly laid out.  As I said before, it seems kind of reckless when we’re talking about eternal souls.

God still seems kind of insecure after the whole original sin incident, and maybe ready to take his ball and go home.  Mass murder, just ’cause of some sodomy and such?  Really?  This kind of black-and-white thinking isn’t very healthy in a parent.  

No commandments written on stone tablets, no. Or maybe yes, we don’t know. It’s not written what God told them, so who knows. One thing we do know is that after they ate the fruit they were given the knowledge of good and evil. So YES! we do know they had general knowledge of what is morally right and wrong just like we do today.  

I’m not any sort of Christian, but I pretty much stick by the ten commandments in my daily life.  No stealing, no murdering, I try to keep the coveting to a minimum.  I just like things to be clear.  I’d do this all a little differently, but I’m just one woman.  I don’t want to quibble too much (though it seems less like a small issue when the stakes are eternal.)  I recently read at Andrew Sullivan that Hell should properly be conceptualized as not being close to God.  If I may subquote, as a blogger is wont to do:

[T]he most theologically cogent view of hell found in classical Christianity maintains that it is the state of mind (or soul) of someone who is alienated from God. Living a life that is out of harmony with God is painful, and to die and be confronted so decisively with the error of your ways — to be made to see that you made a wreck of your life by separating yourself from God, and to have to learn to shatter your pride by reforming yourself in his divine presence — is, one imagines, excruciating. But it is intrinsically painful, not externally imposed by torturers in some fire-and-brimstone-filled dungeon.

That doesn’t sound so bad to this atheist, but the twist that you have to be embarrassed about not being the right religion FOREVER isn’t so great.  But I’d need to believe in a soul to be very worried.   An frankly, I don’t see why it’s so bad not to go along with something as far-fetched as a religion.  

Perplexed mentioned that guiding people to understand is a perfectly legitimate way of teaching, but my objection is that the truth of 1 + 1 is actually there and can be deduced.  The existence/primacy of God is…not that way.  I know that I’m supposed to take a leap of faith, but that seems pretty manipulative to me, when it comes to something I’m supposed to base my entire life around.  If I wanted to replicate others’ experiments to ensure what they claim is true, I can do that.  I can’t really experiment with eternity. 

One thing I’ll give that guy (You’ll see that graph was written by Damon Linker, but pulled by Sullivan, if you follow the convoluted links) is that a good 75% of my motivation for doing anything in life is avoidance of embarrassment.  

I feel like I’m getting off-topic here, but the nut of why I’m not religious should probably come out at some point in this discussion.  

Holy cow you guys! What a great discussion! One of the notions I struggle with myself is faith. I totally get why Pragmatist doesn’t believe, as it is one of the things I have a hard time with. I, too, live my life according to the 10 commandments, though, perhaps I struggle with that first one. I live my life according to the golden rule: “treat others how you want to be treated,” and strive to leave this world a better place for the sake of being good. The caveat here is the definition of good. Where do I get my definition? Different cultures have different morals. Rape is considered a favor of granting womanhood in some cultures but I feel it is wrong. Where does the distinction lay? I know in my heart what I think is right and wrong, regardless of what anyone tells me. I have that personal line. Religion can be used as a guideline for people without a clear and set line. For some weaker souls, which I do believe in by the way, this religious line keeps them from being truly horrible people. It should be said, however, that these horrible people who need religion to draw their lines for them twist the Bible’s words to mean what they want it to mean. This is how we get people who murder in the name of God, and wage wars. War is a man made notion which directly defies more than one commandment. It is God’s practical test, and many people failed.

Chapter 6: Wickedness in the World, and Noah and the Flood

Ok, wickedness!!!!! Now it is starting to get good! Bring on the sinning!!! Punishment!!!! Not that I’m a curmudgeon, but at least a little sin will make it good. Its like the action packed part of the Bible! Where is John McClaine? Rambo!!! WOO HOO!!!

A couple things about this chapter. I think it actually goes along with Ancient Egyptian, Greek, and Roman Mythology. Here is what I mean: In the beginning of this chapter, there are a few human type races. there were plain humans, which is different somehow from mankind. So mankind and humans were breeding together, to keep the incest at a minimum. Prophet an I actually had a talk about this once, as in are they marrying their sisters. I figured it out. Adam and Eve were the first of MANKIND, not humans. Cain, Abel and Seth did not marry their sisters, they married some random humans. (So for the people who are against interracial marriages, God started it! I think he’d be ok with it.) Anyway, Humans, mankind (the chosen ones), and Nephilim (which seem to be like super heros, less than God, but more than humans. Kinda like a mankind rough draft. Nephilim were also giants.). I think this kinda goes hand in hand a bit with science and Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest.” It is exactly a religious version of evolution. Evolution seems to be in the Bible, if you really read it verbatim.

So Mankind, Nephilim and humans were all creating children with each other. When Mankind and Nephilim produced a child, the results were the heroes of the past. They are not named directly, but Hercules, Jason, and all these stories of heroes of the past are the children. Human daughters were beautiful! Like seriously hot, and because people were living so long, and making so many babies, God decided that enough was enough, and that 120 years old was plenty.

Heres the thing though. All these people, with no rules, going all crazy like, having keggers and orgies and getting up to all sorts of no good, decided that the world was pretty darn sucky. Now, I have talked to many parents, as most of my friends have children, and not a single one of them regrets having children. I have however heard them wish they could pull a Homer and strangle them, or regret how they had lost control of them. I have heard them say that they regret having them, but then I see cheesy pictures of their kids and a soliloquy of how wonderful their children are the best thing that has ever happened to them. Well, God had created Mankind and all the other types of humans, and decided that this was just a bad move. Things had escalated out of control, as thousands of monkeys on the planet are want to do. So God decided that the human race had to be grounded, so he decided to eradicate them in the biggest show of genocide in history. All must die. Except that one guy. He’s cool.

Yaaaa this is a really difficult and hard to explain chapter. Maybe one of the hardest….. I don’t think there were different human types. I think the sons of God were something like angels. The Nephilim I think were also a heavenly type of being inhabiting the earth at that time. The sons of God being angels, having children with humans, would make sense in producing heroes of old.

Now onto the difficult part of explaining Gods “regret” or “repentance” in creating humans… It’s not that He made a mistake… If God makes a mistake, then he cannot be God, for God is perfect. The best way I’ve found this to be explained is that His creation of man had grown so wicked and intolerable that God grieved in his heart that his creation displeased him. And just like if we were to say…. make a painting, and we were displeased with it, we would turn from it, get rid of it, and start a new. Eh, I’m not too fancy on that explanation, but I think it gets the point across.

I get what you are saying, but history has proven that there are different lines of humans in the world. We have fossilized records to confirm this. There is a distinction of wording in the Bible which makes it sound like 2 different species. Mankind is the chosen line, and humans are the fodder. I agree with your idea of the Nephilim, angels, gods but not God. We are singing the same line in the same song just a harmonizing note.

I don’t have an idea of gods, not sure what you mean. And what about God do you not agree with?

So, lets say the humans, a gullible lot, meet up with a giant nephilim. It has already been said that they were giants, like Hera, Zeus and Aphrodite. So if these ancient gods were really nephilim, then the Bible actually mentions them, and their purpose, origin and explains why they are no longer around. It’s not that I don’t agree with God, or anything about him, well, so far anyway. Anyway, ONWARD!!!

[WARNING, BLASPHEMY AHEAD]

Okay, this is more like the mythology I can get into.  Nice and weird: creatures coming out of the woodwork, random humanoids, etc.  What I’m still missing is talking animals.  Being a litigious American, I want to know why God didn’t come up with a better solution to this whole sin thing.  It’s pretty reckless when we’re dealing with eternity.  Maybe I’m just more of a planner than God is.  

Also, to lighten things up, I thought it was pretty important that I include this video:

I think, and I may be wrong, that the reason why he didn’t come up with a flat out fix for the sin that others were committing is because he wanted his creations to use all that fancy tree learning and figure it out for themselves, much like I inflict on my students when they “don’t get it.” I steer them in the right direction, and show them where they can find the answer, but ultimately it is up to the kids to figure it out and show each other the answers and reasons.

I agree about the talking animals, but I think, since this book is considered to be the truth in some eyes, talking animals would make it look unbelievable and confirm the mythology idea. That being said, I do believe there is a serious dearth of talking Honey Badgers in all things everywhere.

LOL @ that video. So bad haha. Okay, hmm….. Well I guess when you have to deal with an entire planet full of completely wicked creatures, whose every inclination in the thoughts of their hearts was only evil all the time… Which means their hearts were hardened. There was no saving them, they were too far gone from God. Without taking away peoples freewill, I’m not sure there is a way to save what can’t be saved… What doesn’t even deserve to be saved?… What doesn’t even want to be saved?… Thankfully there was one Righteous man left that God found favor in… And thankfully God was merciful enough to save him and now here we are, alive, and given the chance to spend eternity with God. I know one thing, I’m going to do everything I can not to blow it.

I thought the the great thing about God was that he’s into forgiveness.  (Or is that more of a New Testament thing?)  These “hardened” wicked folks sound like a spell has been put on them, so it’s time to flood them all with some bathwater and start over.  

You must repent to be forgiven. If you are truly sorry in your heart, and really do want to turn from your sins, God will always forgive you.

Chapter 5 From Adam to Noah

And so starts the most boring Chapter thus far. Its a family line. This is some seriously boring family tree stuff.

Here goes!

First, a recap of God creating man, and calling them mankind. POOF! You’re a man! That was Adam and Eve. They had Cain and Abel, and because THAT turned out so well, had a few more kids. Seth to replace poor Abel. They had Seth at 130 years old. Take that Mother Nature! Adam and Eve were a frisky lot, because they lived 930 years total, and had lots of other sons and daughters. Then he died.

Seth was apparently the chosen son, because the line continues with him, and he, at 105, had a son named Enosh, who was apparently the chosen son. Seth lived 912 years total, and had lots of sons and daughters. Then he died.

Enosh had his first son at 90, Kenan, had many sons and daughters until he was 905. Then, he died.

Kenan had his first son at 70, Mahalalel, had other sons and daughters, and then died at 910.

Mahalalel was 65 when he had his first son, Jared. He had children until he was 895 years old. Then he died.

Seriously, this is an abridged version of what is happening. This is some seriously boring stuff. I will continue because it continues. Sigh.

Jared had Enoch at 162, (I’m guessing he shot out daughters until then, or all the other sons sucked because that is twice the age of his forefathers to get a chosen son…) lived till 962 having even more children, probably more girls, then died.

Enoch had Methuselah at 65, and had many other sons and daughters. But there is something special about Enoch, because it emphasizes that he walked with God for 300 years. I am assuming he was very devout? What sayest thou, Prophet? “Walking with God?” What does that even mean? He also lived the shortest so far, because he dies at 365 years old. But not just any death because he was plucked from the earth by God himself. So Enoch was special. Don’t know why, but he was special.

Methuselah had Lamech at 187, lived and made babies until 969, then died.

Finally, when Lamech was 182, he had a son he named Noah. Noah was special because Lamech decided that Noah was the savior of his family. Upon his birth, Lamech was heard to say, “(Noah) will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground The Lord has cursed.” No pressure.

Oh, Lamech lived until 777 years, had many more sons and daughters, then died.

Noah was 500 years old when he had his sons (triplets?) Shem, Ham and Japheth.

That is all. Kind of a crappy way to end a chapter. No transitions. Repetitive. All in all, so far the worst written chapter in the book. I hope it gets better. It couldn’t have just given a picture? A tree with lineage? Ugh. I hope the next chapter is better.

Yuuup it’s definitely boring. BUT! It’s also pretty dang awesome at the same time. There are a lot of things God left out of the Bible that leave us all wondering. Thankfully though, He at least lets us see where and who we all came from, which is very cool in my opinion.

The Jewish community are awesome for still knowing their roots to this day. A born Jew turn Christian, from my church for example, knows and can trace his lineage enough to know he’s from the tribe of Levi. I think that’s the coolest thing. Knowing he’s from the Israelite tribe of Levi, he can then trace all the way back to Adam because of the Bible.

As for Enoch, he simply was, just as you said, a very devout follower of God. And if I had to guess, probably the only one at the time, aside from his descendants to Noah. Just as many walk with Christ today, the same saying applies here, as in walking faithfully. Walking the spiritual path of God. And God taking him I believe is similar to how God takes and buries Moses. Which the Bible says no one ever knew where. Same thing with God taking Elijah in a whirlwind of fire on a chariot w/ horses. They didn’t go to heaven with God, but were swept up by God, and placed somewhere else unknown to us on earth.

I know it’s crazy boring sometimes… but it serves it’s purpose. God didn’t give us the Bible to entertain us, but to educate us of the Truth. The Old Testament is very tedious in a few areas. The New Testament is the truly good stuff. I can’t wait till then……..